Thursday, October 21, 2010

So, it's been awhile...

Yeah, I'm still here.
No, I didn't die.
Yes, I'm sure.
No, I understand that I look like the living dead today, there's a story behind that and I don't really want to get into it right now. Possibly ever.
But speaking of a story. I've got one.
It needs to come out and I'm going to give it the chance. With the blessing and encouragement of those closest to me, I have committed (I like that word) to write a novel in the month of November.
Yes, this November.
No, I'm not cra..... well OK, I might be crazy. I didn't get my psych degree so I can't really tell ya for sure. How about this; you read my work then tell me?
Sound like a deal? Fair?

Linkage to the synopsis soon...

Current meatspace coordinates:
122 deg 14'W 47, deg 17' N Alt: unknown

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Prompt [Breaking Down]

"SHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! OhGodOhGodOhGod!"
"Damnit Jerry, if you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to put you in the trunk with our friend!", I screamed at him. I should know better, Jerry's not all that stable since that job in Sacramento.
"Shit! I'm sorry Davey, but that scared the shit outta me. You know how I am about being shot at.", Jerry whimpered back at me.
"But we're not being shot at dip-shit, the tire just blew out."
"I know that, but it sounded just like a shot, didn't it?"
I wrestled the Buick off to the side of the road, realizing what we had to do, to get to the spare. A dust cloud billowed up from the tires as gravel was spat out from the tires. Skidding slightly to a stop, I leaned back against the headrest and thought about how we were going to get this body out to the desert before is became more pungent than Jerry. Banging my head against the rest to sort things out. How the hell do I keep getting back in this mess? I was supposed to get out. I paid Mr. Green the debt I owed, twice over. But 'the life' just pulls you back under, like an east coast undertow.
"Awlright Jerry, lets get this done and get back on the road before some Goodie Two decided to help up and we're putting two in a hole instead of just the one."
The old doors creak as we get out and circle back to the trunk. Before I open the makeshift coffin, I glance around. Dry and barren, this way and that, though apparently we are 300 feet or so from the "Friendly town of Kasperville." Fucking great. The trunk opens like gigantic baby bird waiting for another juicy worm. Christ I hope this stiff is still stiff and not juicy.
"Jerry, grab the head."
"Oh shit! I'm gonna yak!"
We heave and yank on the roll of carpet wrapped around another schmuck that zigged when he should have zagged. Fortunately, he's still stiff. As the bundle of misfortune flops to the gravel, Jerry tosses up his cheeseburger, fries and strawberry shake all over his end. I should plug him right here and now, just to put us both out of this misery.
"DAMNITALLTOFUCKINGHELL!" I scream. There's no spare. What the hell is this? What do we do now. "Shitshitshitshit!"
"What Davey, what's wrong?"
"There's no fucking spare in this trash heap. Who's car is this anyway?"
"Dunno. I lifted it about an hour before you knocked off Mr. Krinsky."
"Wait, you know this.. this is a hot car? We're driving around in a hot car with stiff in the trunk, with out of state plates? Are you trying to get put away?"
"Well no. Mr. Green said to get my car, and this is it. This week."
"Jerry, so help me God I'm going to shoot you myself before this is all over, now grab Mr. Krinsky's puke covered head and get him back in the trunk."
After a heavy lift, we got the package back in the trunk, and headed off to see how friendly Kasperville really was.
It's only days into the new year, and lo and behold I've broken all of my new years resolutions and I'm going to commit my fourth felony.
I'm not off to a good start.

(This is a writing exercise from Writer's Digest Nov/Dec. Pg. 10)
Current meatspace coordinates:

Friday, March 13, 2009

What's your point of sail?

They say "Life is like... " a lot. I find this funny, though I have been know to spin a philosophical tale as well. How can life be like something else when everything all combined is life. Or maybe I just don' t know what life is like. Or what life is. Or something. Whatever.

It does seem to me, of late, that a lot of people I know are not happy with life no matter what we say it is like. Whether this is just me opening my eyes to the world around me or just how things are now, I'm not sure. Of that, I'm certain. That I'm not sure. I think.

Life is like...
being out to sea.

Being out to sea can be calm peaceful at moments, rough and unpredictable at others. Beautiful and dangerous. Alluring and frightening. (It sounds like I'm talking about a woman, and perhaps that is why the ocean steals many a mans heart.) There are assumptions that we can make, patterns that we can recognize, yet there is no certainty. We can look at our charts and weather forecasts, we can watch the wave tips and telltales, we can feel the subtle shift of the breeze on our face, or we can hear how the wind rushes over the sails. The ocean will not an can not be tamed. It's all we can do but to make the best of what we know and what we have. At the same time, it's important to know that we have the ability to change course. To change our sails. When the sea is still and there's barely a breeze, we drop the jib and hoist the spinnaker; when the ocean is volatile, we reef the main, secure our harness to the life line and plot the best course we can. We don't control the wind or the sea, but we can adjust our sails and course. Control what you can, and understand what you can't control. What is your course, how are your sails set?
What is your destination?
When do you want to get there?
How will you know when you have arrived?
When you get there, what fantastic things will you find there?
What resources, (crew, boat, charts, experience...) can you call on to get you there? How can you put those to their and your best use?

What can you do RIGHT NOW to begin the journey?

Maarburg (dreaming of the sea)
Current meatspace coordinates:
Lost at sea... for now.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dog or Hydrant?

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant! - Unknown

After struggling for years with insomnia, (with a brief cure provided by an experiment with Polyphasic Sleep) I seem to be on the flip side of the curve. I am "sleeping" more, and feeling less rested. Not even sure where to go from here, try to sleep less? back to PolyPhasic for a few weeks? Double doses of Melatonin? For the last few weeks, I've averaged 7hrs of sleep a night. One would think that this multi-hour increase would give me a bit or respite from dragging ass all day.

Could very well be stress related, or diet, or lack of training, or worse yet, a combination of all of the above. (Too many commas? Yeah, I thought so too.)
Stress reduction.. might not be feasible at this point, yet the other two I could certainly do something about. Wish I had the energy to give a damn. Maybe this is one of those horsey/cart cart/horsey things...

Current meatspace coordinates: n21 18.845 w158 1.085 alt 17m

Now playing: Tool - Pushit (Live)
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Head Scratcher

Do m/m couples have the "Toilet seat up/toilet seat down" argument like m/f couples do?

Current meatspace coordinates:
N21 18.763 W157 51.506 Alt 41m (give or take 48m)

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Book Review: the dip by Seth Godin

-cross post from my WordPress Page--

This book is a quick 80 pages that explains Seth's take on the what separates the superstars from the mediocrities. That is the Dip. If you are satisfied with being mid-pack, average, and never achieving your (or your company's) potential, then skip this one. 'the dip' is for the few among us that strive, that believe that we are capable of truly great things.

Quit the things that hold you back, and commit to those that will allow you to be the best in the world.

Since the book is short, this review will be short as well. It's a good read, with immediate applications to your life.

I'll give it a 10/12.

Current meatspace coordinates: N21 22.497 W158 1.584

Friday, December 05, 2008

I’ll start tomorrow

I often make jokes about how I should start a Procrastinators Club, maybe tomorrow. Procrastination is often one of those simple things that stands between where we are, and where we want to be. Perspective, being one part of overcoming a stuck behavior pattern, is often the best place to start.

The words we use, in thought and speech, are considerably more important than we tend to realize. Our choice of words, not only explains our perspective on things, is often shapes that perspective as well. If you’ve had problems with motivation and/or procrastination, take a moment to examine the words you use to define the problem.
Do you use use phrases like “have to” and “should” ? Most of us do. Let’s take a look at these common phrases and I’ll tie the perspective the provide/create and how it interacts with procrastination.
“Have to” is such a commonly used phrase that we might miss how dangerous it can be. You don’t have to do anything. When we say that, we are somehow taking the task and removing our acceptance of it. It ends up feeling like it’s forced on us from someone else, someone that has power over us. That power, that choice, to do something is yours, and has always been so. There are consequences for not doing things, yet the choice is yours. You don’t have to go to the gym. You either want to, or you don’t. Strip that phrase out of your speech patterns, and replace it with ‘want to’ and ‘choose to’ or if you’re adventurous, ‘looking forward to’. On to “should”… Says who? Who exactly are you letting choose your values, and direction in life? Who is telling you what you should do? Silly me, I thought you were in control of your life. Interesting.

I find my procrastination takes hold when the task is too large for me to see all the parts. In fact, there are a ton of things that I’ve put off doing, simply because I couldn’t see past the next big decision. One of the most important lessons I took from David Allens’ book Getting Things Done, is that the first step, is actually asking what is the next possible action. What is the next thing you can do? Slice down big projects or problems into smaller easier to manage pieces.

Right behind changing your focus from the monstrous, to the minute, is redefining what you think success means. The higher the expectation, the more pressure you are putting on yourself. This often leads to “have to” and “should” sneaking into your language. You may or may not be familiar with the Pareto Principle, named as such, but you’ve surely heard of the 80/20 rule. I spin on this principle is that the closer you get to 100%, or perfection, the more time/effort/resources are needed to gain every percentage point. It is considerably easier to move from a 59% perfect project to a 60% perfect project than it is to get from 95% to 96%. Step back and look at what is really necessary for the project to be a success. Reassess how vital this project is, and to whom. Seek the perfection in the smaller slices of the project, and you will often see a better overall project.

Life - by it’s very nature seems to indicate that we will end up doing things that we would rather not. Bouncing back up to “have to” vs “choose to”, remember that you have the choice. If you’re going to do this thing that you’d rather not, you might as well try to make the best of it. Have fun with it. Name your files after characters from a movie, anthropomorphize the project or parts of it. Whatever you can do to smile while you’re working.

Sorry.. my rambling didn’t produce a nice little mnemonic for remembering the steps. I could go back and change them, but I’m not.

Maarburg- meatspace N 21 18.759 W 158 1.072 Elevation 35m