Perhaps one of the most difficult things about inter human communication is the delta between what your intent versus your impact. I often find myself forgetting to look at what I said in comparison to what I meant. When I do have the social conscience to do so, I'm often surprised by the difference.
With written word, I have the time, and often the awareness, to look at what I'm trying to say. In IM and chat room conversations, I seem to have a grasp on this, so why is it that in face to face communication I'm oblivious?
Now before I get to down on myself, I notice this more often when I'm truly listening to someone talk. This morning, our office manager said to a client "Well, if they left the selling to me.. but that's beside the point." Yes, he said this to a customer. No I have no idea what the hell he was thinking, nor what his intent was. We we discussed it this morning, he failed to recognize the difference between what he said, and what he meant(whatever that was). Attempts to bridge the gap were futile. And it's not that this individual is an idiot, in fact he's well educated and has considerable skills in the financial market. He's just missing that part of the brain that checks to see that the words used match the intended message
-P38Pilot
N21 19.190'
W157 51.734'
(accurate to within 91ft)
1 comment:
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart and one of the first lessons we learn in NLP, "The meaning of the communication is the response that you get."
In other words, who cares what you *meant* to say? How the other person reacts to what you said is important, because that is what communication is all abouot - eliciting a response from the other person. If you didn't get the response you want/expect, use that as feedback and try again.
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